Feel My Pain
by Entire Oranges
Summary: AU. What happens when someone learns the death of their loved one in the Culling wasn't necessary?


"My wife." Marcus swallows uneasily as he tries to stay emotionally blank; the opposite that was occurring from the one that spoke the words.

"Yes I knew Sandra she…"

"Don't you dare act like you knew her! Don't you dare!" The man Ed Lawson from Farm Station leans in closer to Marcus, his eyes on fire. Marcus had been sitting alone in his office going over the report that Indra had given him the night previous when the door was violently pushed open and closed again in a much calmer and peaceful matter before Ed approached Marcus at the desk; by that point he decided to stand up.

"I wish I had known her better. She has an amazing spirit."

"Give it up Kane!" There is a pause; Ed's angry seeming to grow along with Marcus's anxiety. He looks around for his clearest and quickest way towards the door. It won't matter any move would be ended at the first muscle flinch.

"I am sorry for your lose Ed." Marcus says with the greatest amount of empathy he could muster.

"You're sorry for my lose? You're sorry for my lose?! You weren't sorry when you killed her and those three hundred and nineteen others!" For the first time physical contact is made when an open hand pushes on Marcus's chest; he does nothing.

"If I had known abo…"

"Just shut up! I am tired of the empty heartless apologizes! You can't sympathy with my pain. And don't give me the bull of the greater sacrifice not when its my wife you're talking about!" Ed pushes again harder Marcus stumbles backwards into the wall.

"What do you want from me?"

"To acknowledge you fucking screwed up."

"I did what I thought, what we all thought was the best deci…" The hand now slaps across the flesh of his face. Still Marcus doesn't retaliate.

"And you know the worst part?' Ed pauses waiting a reply. Marcus fears taking the bait despite knowing exactly what he was referring to. 'Well?!"

"Scott." He at at last replies.

"That's right. Even after my wife my dear Sandra was murdered by your hand.' Marcus can't help but to grimace at the words. 'Don't you dare act ashamed over this! I foolishly had hope. Because my son was on the ground. And they were alive." Ed smiles but an off putting closer felt to depressive than joy as he spoke.

"Ed…"

"And we get to earth. By a fucking miracle we didn't die. But by God I wish we had some days!" Marcus couldn't sympathy fully with the words. He had been lucky. He hadn't landed in the midst of Ice Nation. He hadn't seen the horrors which Ed, Pike, Hannah, and so many others had.

"You guys did the best you could." He keeps talking despite the knowledge of it was doing nothing and never would.

"Yeah we fucking did! And I still had that hope. I still had the fact Scott was here somewhere. Waiting for me. Then you guys came. Our great saviors! And I never thought I'd be happy to see your face. Your dispacable piece of shit face."

"If we had know you were…"

"I was like Scott! I will see my Scott again. My precious son." Ed's words are becoming faster more erractic. He pushes Marcus again into the wall.

"I am sorry."

"No. Again you can't do that. Nothing has given you that right. I get to camp. We joined the others only to learn my boy was one of the hundred which hadn't survived. It was worse than I lost Sandra; because she fucking choose that! You threw Scott's life away with barely a thought or care if he or any of them lived!"

"That's not we inten.."

"Just shut up! How is that I lost everything and you gained everything? How come you are being rewarded by the universe?"

"I'm not." Marcus says the two words in a whisper. Ed laughs. A shrill laugh.

"A beautiful woman. Whom may I add you got because you had a hand in killing her husband. Seriously Kane how much blood is on your hands?!' Marcus stays quiet. 'That's what I thought. Not only did you get her but a baby. How is that fucking fair?" Suddenly his eyes shift to a pure sadness and Marcus then began to feel for him and relax a bit.

"Nothing I can say will heal these wounds."

"It's not fair."

"No it isn't. But what do you want from me?" He knows he's taking a risk with that line.

"I want you to know what it's like. I want you to feel my pain." Marcus's heart starts to race in his chest. A fear that he couldn't explain was pressing on him from every angle. Ed's mouth starts to turn upwards once more.

"Ed look I'm sor…" He watches in horror as Ed takes a step back the smile growing as he reaches into the side pocket of his pants and pulls out a knife covered in blood he suspects more was rubbed off on the cloth.

"Now you'll know." Marcus pushes past him out of the room hoping it was a joke. Praying she was fine. That they both were. He doesn't even think of calling for backup. His world was crumbling beneath him. He reaches their private quarters goes to open the door. The command the one they mutually set will not work. His pounding on the door isn't a match for the pounding in his chest.

"Abby! Abby can you hear me?!" His cries are heard but not by her. Without saying a word Stevens and Meyer from engineering whom had been walking by overheard the screams and saw the desperation in the Chancellors eye and the two of them get the door opened within moments.

"Oh my god!" Meyer got the words out first as the scene was presented for them. Marcus drops to his knees and starts to sob. It appeared the blade of the knife went from ear to ear discounting the jugglar. She would have bleed out in only seconds. In a strange way that was a blessing. He almost laughs at the thought; this was a blessing?!

"Sir the baby?" Suddenly a fire is lighten from underneath him and he rushes over to the unmoving body that was still slightly warm to the touch. He pulls up her shirt his breath once more being ripped away; bruising and welts from fresh marks; fist imprints and shoes on her stomach. He had seen unbelievable horrors. All a children book illustrations compared to this. He starts to sob again.

"The baby could still be okay?" There was little hope in Stevens words. But Marcus held on to them. He calls out for medical. He watches as Abby's body is placed on a stretcher and she's rushed into the medical bay. He waits in silence with Raven by his side as the operation is performed. Praying for a miracle. The blows could've missed anything vital. The embryo sack could and would protect. That's what it was there for. Thirty weeks was survivable. This kid was part him and part Abby. Tough and stubborn as hell.

What felt like a thousand years but he knew in reality was less than hour Jackson comes and finds them. By his face he knew Ed Lawson was right and Marcus at last would truly understand his pain of losing everything.


End file.
